The Independent: Anti-X Factor Christmas campaign is stupid, says Simon Cowell

Plastic-faced popstar kingmaker Simon Cowell seemed pretty bent out of shape in December 2009 when he branded as “stupid” and “cynical” a nationwide attempt to keep whatever uber-calculated sludge The X Factor TV show foisted on us out of the Christmas no.1 slot. Happily, the ruse worked, and 2010 arrived to the sound of Rage Against The Machine.

The Telegraph: Crisp lover changes name to Mr Monster Munch

According to the esteemed pages of the Telegraph, the former Mr Hunt – Chris Hunt – was so in love with the taste of onion powder, sugar, soya protein and disodium 5’-ribonucleotide that he changed his name by deed poll to Monster Munch. Apparently, his diet included a bag of pickled onion flavour in the morning, roast beef flavour in a sandwich for lunch and flamin’ hot for dinner. One wonders if the lad is still breathing.

This is Money: Armed Forces barred from best mortgages

Servicemen and -women posted overseas, according to This is Money, were being ripped off to the tune of nearly £5,000 each over a two-year period because some lenders would not allow them to remortgage at the best rates available – in some cases asking them to transfer to a buy-to-let product instead, which at the time was “typically” 2 percentage points more than a residential type.

The Telegraph: Martin Amis calls for euthanasia booths to deal with ‘silver tsunami’

As far as mad headlines go, we’ve seen worse in the 10 years since this one was printed, but still… here is a choice quote: “[On the rising proportion of the older population,] they’ll be a population of demented very old people, like an invasion of terrible immigrants stinking out the restaurants and cafes and shops.…

I can imagine a sort of civil war between the old and the young in 10 or 15 years’ time.” As the kids say (and hopefully still do by the time you read this, so that it works): “Okay, Boomer”.