Finding a roommate may sound simple, but anyone who’s lived with the wrong person knows the truth. The challenge isn’t finding a roommate, it’s finding one that you can actually live with day in and day out. In this post, we share six frank questions you should ask roommate candidates before you commit to sharing a rental home or apartment. We’ll also provide a map showing the most in-demand rental cities, a real-life rental FAQ, and a home affordability calculator so you can gauge how soon you may be able to stop paying a landlord.
Here are some questions that can help you figure out whether someone is a healthy match for your space and your sanity. Turn this into a short set of follow-up questions. Ask about work hours, school hours, sleep habits, weekends, and what might increase their noise levels. For example, someone who loves midnight gaming sessions may not blend well with your daily routine if you’re an early-morning gym person. Talk openly about how the rent will get paid every month, when utilities are due, and how shared expenses like Wi-Fi and streaming services will be split. But also ask about household supplies, like toilet paper, laundry detergent, and shared food or groceries. Go a step further and ask what they think should happen if someone comes up short. Ask how often they clean, how the daily, weekly, and monthly chores should be divided, and what level of mess they feel is acceptable in your shared spaces. Have them provide examples of their cleanliness pet peeves and what they think is an okay level of filth. For example, do they think dishes should be washed right away, or is the sink a temporary storage bin? This may be a bit uncomfortable, but you should ask the roommate candidate to describe what they think are acceptable visitor stay timelines and scenarios. And what do they expect from you when people come over, especially if they are staying overnight or longer? You don’t need strict rules, but you should understand each other’s comfort levels and know — and respect — each other’s boundaries. Ask this question and then listen carefully. The candidate’s answer may reveal telltale patterns. For example, if all they talk about are negative experiences or stories about how bad their past roommates were, this may be a red flag. If they had a bad experience, can the candidate express what they might have done to make it better? This is another subject that may feel somewhat awkward, but it’s important to broach right up front. Ask the candidate to describe a situation where they think an early move-out would be acceptable, and situations where it’s not. Also, ask them to tell you about how much notice they think is fair, or what they believe is a good backup plan. Each of the questions above can help you predict what the logistics of the roommate relationship might look like, but there is another litmus test — the vibe you feel when you’re asking them. After the conversation, ask yourself this inward question: Would living with this person feel easy or exhausting? If something feels off, you should trust your instincts. The right roommate situation should feel comfortable from the start, not like something you have to convince yourself will work.6 questions to ask a potential roommate (to avoid mayhem)
1. What’s your real schedule (not your ideal one)?
2. How do you handle money, bills, and due dates?
3. What does “clean” actually mean to you?
4. How often do you host friends, overnight guests, or “partners”?
5. Have you lived with roommates before? What worked (or didn’t)?
6. What happens if one of us needs to move out early?
Bonus step most renters skip: A compatibility gut-check
