By Stephanie Ziebell

It’s common knowledge that the loudest or most talkative person in the room isn’t necessarily the smartest. Confidence should not be confused with competence. Nevertheless, as Sherri Crosby Wheeler pointed out in her article, “Raise Your Voice,” from the September 2019 issue of Mortgage Women Magazine, “…your voice is your point of view, your ideas, your story…” and “ALL of it deserves to be heard.”

So, what happens when we take that step to raise our voice, but it’s not well received? How should we respond to disagreement with our point of view? What reaction should we have when our idea receives criticism, or as it happens in my case from time to time, our advice is rejected? Please bear with me as I give a “typical” lawyer response: The answer is … it depends.

First, it depends on whether you trust the decision-makers. Are you surrounded by people who you trust to truly listen and consider your opinion? Or do you believe they are wrongfully ignoring your outlook, or even worse, putting personal interests ahead of the company?

I recently attended a company event where employees from the home office had an opportunity to network with our branch managers from around the country. Earlier in the evening, I was told about a situation that involved a challenging loan and an extremely frustrated loan originator. During the networking reception, a few key (male) members of the executive team gathered around a pub table with their thinking caps on. A female colleague of mine noticed the situation and prompted me to intervene. She encouraged me, saying, “Stephanie, go over there. You are on the executive team and you should be a part of that conversation.”

My response, however, was not to intervene. I told my colleague that I trusted the executive team member who organized the impromptu meeting. I was confident that if he believed he needed me to be a part of the conversation, he would have included me.

The next morning, that male executive who organized that discussion pulled me into the same conversation, this time determining that the discussion would be relevant to me and that my input was needed. It was clear to me that, during the previous evening’s conversation, he was not purposely excluding me or consciously attempting to suppress my voice. He simply had decided to only include the necessary parties at that time. And I trusted his decision.

I am fortunate to be on a team with people I trust. If this is not the case in your workplace, then it may be in your best interests to diligently involve yourself in conversations and make your opinion known. Be persistent. And more importantly, take steps to build that trust. Get to know your colleagues and learn to understand them. Developing relationships is key to building trust.

Second, if you’re met with opposition or exclusion of your opinions in the workplace, you should also consider whether the suppression of your views or dismissal of your advice results in a compromise of your values, or if it’s something illegal.

As an attorney, I am held to certain ethical standards that require reporting up when it comes to certain conduct; but, even if you don’t have strict legal obligations, you may still have the duty of loyalty to the organization. This means not putting personal interests ahead of the interests of the company.

Moreover, we all are entitled to possess our own values and to live by them. I am fortunate enough to say that I have not run into a situation where I was forced to tell the organization that it was taking a position I could not support; but if push came to shove, there are hills that I am not willing to die on. For me, it comes down to following what I know to be true in my heart: there is no profit to gain in the world that’s worth losing your soul.

Finally, consider whether the individuals rejecting your advice or disagreeing with your opinion are in a position to do so. Every organization has hierarchies, and if a member of the organization is stepping outside of that hierarchy, it should be addressed appropriately. If, however, the people criticizing your point of view or making decisions contrary to your advice have the authority to do so, then trust the hierarchy, assuming you trust the individual(s), as long as it doesn’t force you to compromise your values or do something illegal.

Through all this, it’s also essential to be cognizant about your delivery. While it may be true that our voices deserve to be heard, we must remain professional and responsible when sharing our opinions. I try to filter most of my opinions through the lens of the acronym “THINK.” Is what I am about to say true? Is it helpful? Is it inspiring? Is it necessary? Is it kind? I may think that a loan product is too risky, and my opinion may be true, helpful, and necessary. But do I deliver that opinion in a way that inspires? Am I kind when I share that opinion?

At the end of the day, I hope we are all confident enough to speak up, and to share our viewpoints and opinions. With that, however, I hope we do it wisely, respecting the chain of command, and keeping in mind that we often need to trust the people we work with every day. And in the end, I believe we can all benefit from realizing and accepting that, from time to time, we may not always be the smartest person in the room. But that’s the beauty of the workplace; together, our talents, opinions, and expertise can help our companies thrive and grow in a way that our individual ideas never could.

As SVP – General Counsel for Waterstone Mortgage Corporation, Stephanie Ziebell has made a significant contribution to the growth and success of the organization. Aside from her legal expertise and exceptional work ethic, she is also an outstanding manager who values the professional growth and engagement of her team members. She currently oversees the Legal, Customer Service, Compliance & Risk, and Vendor Management teams at Waterstone Mortgage.