When we think of the word negotiation, we tend to think of a challenging and difficult process that's fraught with tension and a focus on beating the adversary. 

But it doesn't need to be that way. In fact, the best negotiations often have a much different tone. We're far more effective when we adopt a softer approach. 

Our 4 pillars for effective negotiation

Overcommunicate: We live in a distracted world. The more we communicate with the other party, and encourage communication in return, the more likely we'll be able to strike a deal that works for both parties. 

Seek first to understand: As Stephen R. Covey once said, “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.” It's always a good idea to seek to understand what is most important to the other party. When the other party feels listened to and understood, we create an atmosphere of respect and a foundation for agreement. 

Throw in a little sugar: Throughout the negotiation process we prefer to "advocate without being adversarial". The other party will be more willing to negotiate with a kind and helpful person than one who communicates infrequently and plays the role of "tough negotiator". 

Pick up the phone and call: In the world of real estate, where the stakes are often high, there is no substitute for a conversation. Very often it's the phone call that unlocks the key to a successful negotiation. Yet far too often we see agents rely solely on texts and emails as their only tools for communication. 

The bottom line

An effective negotiation isn't about winning and losing. It's about coming to an agreement that all parties can support. Opening the lines of communication, building rapport, and creating an atmosphere of cooperation and respect are the keys to a win-win agreement.